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In the fall of 2009, Doofy went out on two very different dates. The first date wasn’t really a date. The girl was a prostitute, but he got more than his money’s worth and ended up spending time with a really nice person.

The date took place at a hotel in Fort Lauderdale that was located some 50 miles from where he lived with his mother in Miami. He first saw the ad on Craigslist and despite his infatuation with the black girl in the ad, (he couldn’t believe that she was really a prostitute because she was just too beautiful) he did not try to contact her. Since he was going through a drought, was still single at 32, and had no real prospects, he continued to frequent the website by telling himself that he was doing it just to look at the photos. But he was lying to himself, because he knew deep down that if he encountered the right girl, with the right price, and the right photograph, he would take a chance.

He ran into the same girl’s ad on two more occasions while searching for other escorts. It almost seemed like she was calling out to him. In the ad, there were three different photos of her. In the first photo she was sitting on a big, overwhelming wicker chair, wearing a short purple dress that showed off her long legs.

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In the second photo, she was standing in the doorway of a hotel bathroom, wearing a white night gown with a generous view of her cleavage.

And in the third photo, she was sitting on a hotel bed with a soft, beaming smile, in a tight “I’m in Miami Bitch” T-shirt and wearing blue jeans that fit her like a glove. That third photo was Doofy’s favorite. He liked it because it made her look like the typical girl next door. He ended up saving all three photos to his hard drive and saved her number to his cell phone. The price was right but he still had to convince himself.

He made up his mind one night while drinking three pitchers of beer, and four shots of tequila with a fellow bag boy at a local bar near his mother’s apartment in South Miami. He didn’t tell his co-worker what he was going to do, but there came a point after the third or fourth shot of tequila when a light bulb lit up above his head. From then on, he was on a mission like a drug addict looking for a fix.

On the short walk home, he called her. Her name was Virginia and the phone rang three times before a smooth, sexy voice answered.

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“Hello?”

“Hi.”

“Can I help you?”

“Um, yes, um, I was calling about your ad.”

“Are you looking for a date?”

Doofy sighed heavily as he walked the three blocks to his mother’s apartment. Fear and sex amalgamated in his mind.

“Hello? Are you there?”

“Yes, I’m sorry. Yes, I would like to see you.”

“Are you drunk?”

“I’m a little tipsy but I have to tell you I think you’re the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.”

“Thank you so much. I’m so flattered. What’s your name?”

“My name is Yuniesky….Yuniesky Zilberman.”

“What?”

“Yuniesky Zilberman.”

“What kind of name is that?”

“I’m Cuban but my grandparents on my mother’s side are Russian. I was named after her father.”

“It sounds Jewish, are you Jewish?”

“Yes, a kind of Cuban Jew; a mutt. Have you ever been with a mutt?”

“Yes, Yuniesky, I’ve been with lots of Mutts, you won’t be my first.”

How to earn money online from google malayalam. There was a pause, and then he heard her breathing and he pictured her at home in bed. “It’s kind of late tonight Yuniesky. Would you like to meet tomorrow?”

“Sure. Yes, of course. Definitely.”

“How about in the early evening, say around six or seven?”

“That’s perfect. Where do you stay at?”

“I have a place in Fort Lauderdale where I like to meet clients, it’s right on Commercial Blvd. Call me tomorrow around four to confirm and I’ll give you the details sweetie.”

“Okay, I will.”

“You have a good night now, Yuniesky, and be safe please.”

“I will. Thank you. It was a pleasure meeting you.”

“It was a pleasure meeting you.”

“The pleasure is all mine.”

She giggled like a school girl.

“Sweet dreams honey.”

They both hung up at the same time.

Early the next evening Doofy drove to the hotel where the date was to take place. Just parking his car made him nervous. He imagined that she was an undercover police officer and that this was a sting. He stayed in the car fixing his hair, clearing it away from his face; it was dirty blond, long in the front and short at the back, some people said he looked like Kurt Cobain’s long lost retarded brother. He then smelled himself and sprayed more cologne. He inspected his shirt closely.

After 10 minutes and despite his paranoia, Doofy finally got out of his car and walked into the hotel lobby. She was in room 403. When he caught the elevator, a short man in a white suit with a shaved head, thin mustache and aviator sunglasses was already there. The man asked him what floor:

“What floor papa?”

Doofy said four please.

“There are only three floors papa.”

Doofy looked at the buttons on the elevator. He panicked. “The third floor then,” he said, looking bewildered.

He got off on the third floor and walked down the hall. He stopped in front of room 303 and called Virginia with his cell phone.

“Hello, Virginia,” he said, as a long lock of his hair fell over his face. “Hey sweetie, where you at?”

“I’m at the hotel but there’s no fourth floor. Are you sure you didn’t mean room 303?” Virginia started laughing hysterically.

“Oh my God,” she said, trying to get a word in between laughs, “you’re at the wrong hotel.”

“You said the Lindon. I’m at the Lindon.”

“No, there are two Lindons honey. That’s the regular Lindon. I told you the Lindon Suites. Baby, that’s why I told you to make a left on Commercial.”

“I just heard Lindon and I saw it on the right.”

“Oh my God! This is so funny! You are so cute!”

“But why are there two Lindons so close to each other? That doesn’t make sense.”

“One is the suites and the one where you’re at is just a regular hotel.”

Doofy laughed while his face turned red like an apple, but he was relieved because he felt that no cop would laugh at him like she did. Or maybe they still would but might feel pity for him and let him go. He went back to his car and drove to the correct Lindon hotel. When he finally made it to the fourth floor, he stood in front of the door, breathing deeply.

He knocked on the door and when it opened, a beautiful black girl with

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